It’s 8:55 PM at Life After Lemons Candy Store on its last day open, as I prepare to take the close/open sign down and replace it with a “Closed Permanently” sign, my heart is so broken right now, tears falling from my eyes and disbelief that this particular dream, my childhood dream is dead. I know I’m not giving up my company, I’m not giving up making candy, but my dream of bringing smiles and a happy place to escape to for kids and adults on a daily basis is gone.
I just locked the door, put the signs on the doors, and turned the lights out. I’m sitting here in the dark at my store on my computer. I knew this would be a hard day, but when I turned the lock that was it.
I am disappointed, sad, and depressed. A year ago, this month I was so hopeful and positive this would work. I had a lot of people who told me I was nuts and that it would fail, I guess they can say “I told you so” now. Right now, the analytical part of my brain is trying to think back to all the lemons that occurred and brought me to this moment, but the heart is saying don’t go down that road now. There will be time for reflection later.
This week I had to say goodbye to some very loyal customers who did come in as customers but are now definitely forever friends. I had several kids crying (and some parents). I have been crying all week. I cannot believe that this is happening.
Trust me I will be ok, I will be back to my positive self in no time and I will rebuild the company in a new direction. But tonight, tomorrow and maybe even Monday, this is going to be so raw emotionally for me that I will break out in tears. Poor Lucy is going to have to deal with a lot of tears falling on her fur!
I will keep myself busy this week packing, cleaning, and taking care of address changes and various moving things.
I have been through a lot of things in my life, I know the only way I’m getting through this one is the support system I have with friends and family. If I didn’t have all the love to get me through, I definitely would be more concerned about my mental state. But I have enough people who will be encouraging me and helping me.
Ultimately, I took a big risk. I was a poker player in my past life, so I knew the risk I was taking starting this store. I probably should have gotten out sooner if you rewind the events that led to this day. But I am living my life without regrets. With that in mind, I’m glad I did not close sooner because I would have missed out on knowing some new friends I have made in the past two months. They have touched my life knowing them and talking to them almost every day. When you have things like that, and people in your life that have made a difference, you cannot regret your decisions.
I’m a very stubborn person (just ask my family), I will not give up on the dream, I just have to come to peace with changes to it. I will downsize temporarily and just do homemade stuff online. I will tell you this, do not count me out for anything. I know what went wrong and I know exactly what is needed to fix it. However, I knew that this location is not where the story would or could continue.
I want to thank those who came out this week to see me. The hugs and the tears will be remembered forever. I hope that you all will continue to follow me and when I am ready to sell online be my customers once again. I hope when you and your kids look back to this time period that you remember Life After Lemons Candy Store and me fondly and with a smile.